Cinematic Thoughts for Cinematic Minds
One of the worst things about the internet is that no-one has enough time to experience all it has to offer – which is basically everything. A lot of potential info-consuming time is taken up by having to work to stay alive and leaving the house to live a life, not to mention the fact that you’ll die too soon anyway. Furthermore, you’d probably end up getting distracted by videos of idiot cats for an unnecessary length of time, minimising productivity even further; and don’t get me started on the times a storm will corrupt the broadband connection for hours on end, which only tends to happen once you’re engrossed in discovering something really cool.
This isn’t to say that seeing all the world’s sights, reading all the world’s books, or hearing all the world’s music was ever possible even before the advent of the web; but now, rather, it’s somehow less possible, despite or because of the fact it’s all right there at our fingertips. My own listening, watching and reading lists are deathless, probably extending far beyond the limits of common sense, and to be honest, I’d need all the time in the world to make it through any of them.
That’s why Eve, Tilda Swinton’s character in Only Lovers Left Alive, is the sole film character I’m truly jealous of; she uses her status as a vampire to the fullest, completely burying herself in a world of art and culture, doing precisely the kind of things I would if I had the time she does. Her boundless life expectancy also allows her to spend enough time apart from her soul mate, the similarly cultured yet perennially miserable Adam (Tom Hiddleston), in order to keep their relationship healthy.
Sounds perfect, but everyone knows that immortality more often than not would be painfully lonely, through mounting nostalgia and loss of mortal acquaintances, as well as incredibly boring. That’s why I chose Eve over Adam; Hiddleston’s character embodies said negative aspects, while Swinton’s pushes for pragmatism, self-betterment and satisfaction. Her approach to her infinite existence also purports that a lot of situations are only bad if you view them pessimistically, and for her, she feels little of the strain of prioritising, given that she literally has all the time in the world to do whatever she wants. Plus, at approximately 1500 years of age, can you imagine how wise she is?
If I were Eve, it’d solve all my problems, which mainly include scheduling issues, and the struggle to pack the consumption of fun stuff alongside the completion of important stuff. I wouldn’t feel as though I was missing out on all the TV shows everyone keeps blathering on about; I’d just watch True Detective in a hundred years or so, when I’d finally managed my priorities. And I’d actually have the time to struggle through James Joyce’s Ulysses, which I’ve previously had to abandon given there was just no way I could tackle it while maintaining some ulterior form of usefulness. Maybe I’d be able to properly get into Frank Zappa, or more likely, clean my room, which I usually delay to browse Facebook. I’ll take blood cravings over a lack of proper involvement in pop culture any day.